Wednesday, April 1, 2015

American Man Charged With Genocide

FLORIDA – Local American, Jeb Bush, was arrested this morning for genocide. Mr. Bush is charged with the mass murder of 250 million individuals, all closely related. With wanton neglect, he murdered 250 million people, nearly the same number as the population of the United States, by drowning.

State prosecutor, John Smith, announced the arrest today before a crowded room of reporters in Jacksonville. “With complete disregard for what could be considered an entire nation of human infants, Mr. Bush ejaculated into his toilet after pleasuring himself. If we do not speak up for the unborn, who will? I've heard the screams of the spermatozoa, and I will not neglect my duties. Justice will be served.”

Given Florida's death penalty and the special circumstances of mass murder, Mr. Bush's punishment, if convicted, could be dire, but legal experts expect Mr. Bush to be exempted for reasons of oligarchic immunity.

Barbara Bush, mother of the wanker, could not be reached for comment.

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