Friday, April 10, 2015

I wouldn't change a thing...

Like anyone, I have regrets.  I wish I had understood women better when I was younger.  I wish I had made better choices in whom I chose as friends when I was young.  I wish I had known that backstabbers existed when I was young (I am thinking of Jim and how he deceived me and gave me the intentionally bad advice that harmed my relationship with Holly).  Yes, I was terribly ignorant of the ways of humans when I was young.

However, I do not regret never having married Holly.  I do not regret divorcing my first wife.  I not only do not regret having fathered a daughter, but I think it was the best thing that happened to me in my life, and as much as her mother turned out to be a great disappointment to me, I know that it is not something she chose to do, so I do not regret staying with her until my daughter became and adult.

I do not regret that I am effectively single now.  In fact, I love it.  There is so much more that I have done, free of these "ball and chains".  There is so much more that I will do, as you will see here in the coming year.  If anything, I regret having wasted a year of my life on Holly and 10 years of my life on Hang, though I learned much from the experiences.

This is not to say that I did not love them, because I did love love, very much.  However, that kind of love is not enough.  There are other more powerful loves, like the love of a parent for a child, and the love of fighting for what is right.  With Holly, I would have been yacked to death by her endless yapping and bored to death with her complete failure to understand anything that requires knowledge and reason.  With Hang, I would have been imprisoned by her love, unable to see the world, fight for those things I believe in, learn those things I wanted to learn, and then, sadly, I would have never become a father.

I wouldn't change any of that if it meant I could not have and be what I have and am now.

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