Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The Adventures of Íþtard (Eeth-tard), American Hero Programmer

Testosterone driven, socially impaired, and hyped up on a mix of caffeine and ibuprofen, Íþtard arrives for his first day at his new job at TravTech, a wicked pissah and generally awesome computer software company targeting the travel market.  Clean shaven and attired in nerd appropriate shirt and pants,  Íþtard is about to start a new adventure in nerd domination.  He steps out of his car into the parking lot of the corporate digs, pulls up his flood-pants, grabs his well organized backpack, and strides forth into the great unknown, but generally predictable, world of software development.

Ascending the creaking stairs of the dilapidated old building, up into the rarefied realm of programming prowess,  Íþtard skulks into his assigned seat within the open office plan, in the attic of this stuffy New England barn/software development house.  Noisily his backpack thumps upon the floor.  He unzips it and pulls out the keyboard he ordered online, the one with the noisiest clicky keys he could find, and places it on his tilted desk, in a room that looks like the bad-guys hangout from a scene in an old Batman episode.  He plugs his keyboard in.  Opens the laptop.  Turns it on. Waits for it to boot.  When it has finished booting, Pow! Bank! Click! Click!,  Íþtard is off an running, getting very little done, but making the world know that he is here.  Listen to him click!  Watch him go, building up a sweat as he clicks away.   Íþtard has launched!

… to be continued ...

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