Sunday, July 15, 2012

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Creeps from childhood...

Sometimes I think the most pathetic people that have been a part of my life are the back biters that were my friends when I was young.  Most of my friends of youth have spent their entire lives within but a few miles of where they were born.  I haven't.  In fact, I've lived in more places than most people have visited.  Each place I've lived has changed me a bit.  Additionally, I've seen things in this world that few Americans have seen.  I've seen the consequences of war.  I've seen (and lived in) abject poverty.  I've nearly died several times.  Everything I have in life has been a great struggle.  I even had to fight to get my wife and daughter into the United States.  Yet, over the years, this "friends" of youth have done what they can to bring me down and to judge me by the mistakes I made as a young person, a person I am no longer.

I can see why these people don't understand that people can change profoundly.  I think an important ingredient in change involves going out into the world and fighting to exist.  They haven't done these things.  The most pathetic of all is an ex-girlfriend.  She never had to struggle in life.  Yet, she found plenty of time to attack someone she doesn't even know.  I think it runs in her family.  Her father was an asshole too.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Look at an ugly woman through the beer goggles of deception

Have you ever met someone that, after many years, you looked back and wondered how you could have ever found that person attractive?  Many times I've wondered how it was that I fell for a sociopath named Bridget.

Bridget was not good looking.  At that time in my life I was in a relationship that repeatedly extinguished every dream I had.  When Bridget came into my life, I saw her as the opposite of the person with whom I was bound.  Bridget, it was later revealed, was an infiltrator sent to spy on a political organization that I was a member of.  Had I known that, back then, there never would have been any connection between myself and this subhuman waste of skin.

I was aware of her profound physical ugliness, but there was something about her personality and her professed interests that drew me in and overcame her plainness.    My estimation of the inner Bridget became a kind of beer goggles, masking her true presentation.  I was willing to ignore her far-too-pale skin, her straw hair, her hideous nose, and her boring eyes.

Before that point, I didn't know what a sociopath really was.  Her fake persona was a professional act.  I was tricked.  Later I discovered that she was a liar, a snitch, a defamer, and an amoral hollow shell of a person.  It is a hard lesson I learned.  I am now far more cautious of people that drop into my life.